You read it right.
Go ahead take another look...
Yep, you got it, a menstrual parade!
The family had just settled into a nice comfy booth to feast on delicious pizza. We had only been home from vacation a few days and I didn't feel up for cooking. There is nothing more refreshing than eating out, I swear it. And pizza is such a well balanced meal. (veggies - olives and mushrooms, fruit - pineapple and tomatoes, meat - pepperoni and sausage, dairy - cheese, grain -pizza crust) It makes me feel like such a great Mom to make sure my kids are eating healthy.
Oh back to the MENSTRUAL PARADE!
Are you sure you really want to know? Turn back now if you are easily embarrassed!
Emily and Kate had slipped away to use the bathroom. They had been gone a little longer than usual and yes I did have that motherly instinct to go and check on them. I ignored it. Even though they have been known to dance on counter tops and climb over stalls. They are half monkey for sure. The jury is still out on who's side supplied the monkey blood (really it's not, there is no doubt it comes from the Wilcox side, but that's what makes us full of life;-) So a few more minutes pass and then I hear them coming. They are skipping up swinging something on their fingers. As they get closer they start shouting to Chase, "Chase, look what we found!" With claims of having something cool enough swinging around those naughty fingers I take a closer inspection. If I was the swearing type I would still have soap in my mouth. Maybe I did even swear in my head. But what I did do for sure was poke Dave in the ribs and tell the girls to get into our booth IMMEDIATELY and hand over their "treasures". What did they have you ask? Can't you guess? What could it be that had me red as an apple and looking around to spot any witnesses?
TAMPONS!
All puffed up, out of there wrapper and flipping through the air!(they had fished them our of the dispenser machines in the restroom)
Even now I am sighing heavily wondering why I have three girls...
So now you can all go about your merry day knowing you can't have it too much worse than me...
PS I just did something horrible. Fixable, but horrible, for a few brief minutes I accidentally published this story on Chase's old Cub Scout Troop blog... Hopefully I didn't just ruin the innocent minds of poor 8 year old boys.
7 comments:
my BOYS used to use the tampons to pretend to smoke. Not only is "smoking" a bad idea, but using tampons to do it? Seriously a bad idea. Granted they were two years old...but we stopped that idea immediately.
As soon as I saw your blog title, my imagination got working to figure out what the parade could have been. I thought maybe they stuck pads all over their body and walked around the restaurant. Well...at least the tampons were clean and new from the dispenser!
I would have loved to have seen Daves' face! My three little girls NEVER did anything like that!.
Grandpa
Oh my goodness!! Well you have to give it to them for creativity!!
Love
Mom
Poor CUbs- they will never look at your girls the same. That truly is a great story! Pity there's no picture of this one.
That's ridiculously awesome. But at least they were fished out of the dispenser and not the trash...
Laughing so hard right now! Have fun with three girls!
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