Thursday, February 25, 2010

Dementia

OK, sigh, I just finished watching "The Notebook". I have been meaning to watch it for years and finally did this afternoon while the kids were at school. I have been bawling my eyes out. I had to shower to settle down enough to get through the rest of the day and now my eyes are stinging up a storm. I don't think I have cried so hard from a movie (they're supposed to be entertainment - which in my book means makes one happy) while not pregnant. Titanic and Mrs. Potter both got me pretty good too but I was a pregnant hormonal mess.

Warning!!!!! Movie Spoilers!!!!

So back to "The Notebook". It got to me. I am now officially terrified of aging! It killed me to see the heroine of the movie suffering from dementia. Not knowing her husband, the love of life. Not knowing her children, her life's work. And then there were tears shed for the poor hero. Loosing the mind of his best friend and life long love. How awful it is for families that suffer through this horrible decease! They lose everything. Their life in essence. Every sweet memory they have collected over the years...all gone. I was sobbing gut wrenching choking cries of misery on behalf of this poor movie character who represents so many in the world. His beloved Ally recalls her life for 5 minutes only to forget again and be terrified by the presence of her spouse, yelling, pushing and begging for relief. How much more horrible the real life moments are for those struggling though things like this. I wanted to drive down to Dave's work and run in to tell him how much I loved him and could never live without him.

The poor kids walked in right at that moment. To their poor mother crying hysterically on the couch. Sara and Kate came to cuddle and comfort me. I couldn't compose myself for a while. I kept thinking about what if that were me. What if I am all alone in my older years. No memories of love and life. What if I don't know my spouse, best friend and true love when he is standing right there beside me. What if my children, my treasures and life's work are strangers to me. I can only hope with all my heart and soul that Dementia will not plague my family.

If ever I was to contribute financially to the research and cure of an illness it will be dementia.

8 comments:

Honeycombs said...

Thanks so much for the invite for Sunday, but Phil and I will be in Maple Valley. It was our neice that died and we had the funeral yesterday and the family viewing and graveside service are today. Can we take a raincheck on dinner? We would love to see you guys soon.

RCurtis said...

Scott & I just watched that movie. Scott had never seen it, but I had, so I was a little more prepared. But, I still cried too. I think what helped me get through that movie was that they were together in the end and they knew and loved each other. No matter what we experience here -- even if it's forgetting everyone and everything -- we will remember in Heaven. We will REMEMBER! We will KNOW! I can't imagine what that will be like, but what a beautiful blessing that is! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions.

Cathy said...

I read this book years ago when it was newly published and it tore my heart out. I bawled for days. We were newlyweds and Chad kept wondering if I would be ok. I can't bring myself to watch the movie, EVER.

Andrea said...

I read the book and then watched the movie about 5 years ago. The book was very sad and i cried, but Willie and I watched the movie one night and when her family(kids and grandkids are visiting with her and him at the nursing home and he introduces them to their own MOM, I completely and utterly LOST IT! I was hystrical just like you. I cried on and off so much, that we had to keep pausing the movie. What a terrible way to age! I just don't like this getting old thing. But at least they died peacefully. So sad!

Nicole said...

I hated that movie.

Anonymous said...

Aren't you glad that you have a family to love and be loved by??
Dad

Photographer: Rebecca Pierce said...

I love that movie. I should have been more impacted by the alzheimers, but I was so bothered by the old people because I just couldn't get enough of their young love story. Thanks for your thoughts! Have you seen Terms of Endearment? If you don't like movies that jerk your tears, I won't recommend it, but it is my #1 all time favorite movie for just being raw and real and hard...like life, I guess. It's from 1983, Jack Nicholson, Shirley McClaine, Jeff Bridges, Debra Winger...it won FIVE Oscar awards. I think you'd have to have no pulse for the movie not to get you. I cried like you describe crying in the Notebook, and I was like 21 when I first saw it. Watching it now, as a mother, is even worse. I'd say that parts of the movie changed me...I've probably blogged about scenes from the movie just relating to life at least five times. I just LOVE it.

Lisa said...

Totally hysterically bawled during that movie bur I loved it. Made me love my husband even more.