Thursday, March 12, 2009

I Want To Be A Quitter


That sounds bad I know. But this whole trying to get in shape and lose weight thing is not for me.

Dave and I joined LA Fitness in January with the hopes of enjoying working out dates and both getting slimmer and trimmer. We signed Kate and Sara up for the kids club program, which they love. I hired a personal trainer. And off we were to grand goals and hopes or smaller clothes.

I wanted to give it a fair shot, though I must admit to a fair degree of pessimism on my part. So I stopped eating a bag of M&M's every time I went to the store. Tried really hard to cut out other snacks and fight the constant craving for more sweets. I went to the gym for an hour three days a week and was sore every minute of every day for a month.

So what did I get in return? Nada, nothing, zilch, niente (I wish I knew more languages to add more emphasis to the lack there of, of progress)! OK, I gained a pound of muscle, gained a 1/4 of an inch in my calves(what girl wants that..right!), and lost ONE pound!!!!!!! Now you tell me...does that seem like it's worth all the trouble?????? Is being a size 12 all that bad. Especially since becoming a size 8 now seems entirely unattainable! AHHHHH!!!! Girls can you feel my pain. I gave up all the foods I love, even ate salads for lunch and did things I loath, namely exercising, all for one stinking, measly, worthless pound.

So I haven't wanted to go back. It's been a month since that evaluation and I have been back maybe two or three times. (mostly for the childcare, I can suffer through an hour of exercise when the kids are driving me bonkers) Granted I was really sick for a week, and then the girls were sick. So that two weeks I felt exempt. But I just don't have the gumption to try anymore. Dave says it takes more then a month and that it builds on itself kind of exponentially. But in my opinion I have now found the one crucial flaw in God's plan (no-disrespect). It shouldn't be so impossibly hard. After all I'm trying to repent of my glutenous ways right. Repentance isn't supposed to be so entirely, utterly, seemingly impossible. It should be easier. At this point I think it would be easier to repent of gross crimes against humanity than try to repent for being a lazy food connoisseur!

My only really good piece of incentive small as it is was when Katie asked me today why I wasn't eating M&M's anymore. Sweet girl...I think she is the only one who can tell. I sure don't see a difference, and my body sure isn't showing any signs of rewarding me for my efforts!

9 comments:

Andrea said...

Jenny don't quit. If I know anything about you, it's that you can do anything you put your mind and heart into. Give the gym another try. Exercise is such a stress reliever. You'll enjoy it mentally before you see the physical results, but it's so worth it.

Nicole said...

OK- I have the solution to all of our woes- I will fly Jessie up there- and then you will be so motivated to have her in the child's program that you will spend 8 hours of wach day at the gym, and be happy the whole time!

Sarah said...

I have definitely missed seeing you there. I was hoping you had switched to a night routine. Really, don't give up. You will have NO regrets for continuing to exercise--only good came come of it. But quitting? There could be a few regrets . . . Dave is right, it takes a while to be enjoyable. But then there is nothing that can take its place.

Anonymous said...

Boy do I ever understand, but hey don't think of the one pound lost, instead think of that little heart getting healthy and that is the pay off.
Love
Mom

Heather said...

If you are reading for words of inspiration as you have seen from the previous comments, stop here. Exercising is a waste of time! I'm laughing as I say that. Logically we know that's not true, right? But I feel the same way you do. A few years ago I dug in with such determination. Wait, I think I told you this. Five months of an hour a day/5 days a week and I lost nothing! Not a pound, not an inch! And the whole stress relieving theory--busted! (I can see the title of your next post under this window. I couldn't resist.) It's hard to keep doing something when you see NO results. For me the only thing that really keeps me going is when it's a social thing. What does that say about me...

RuSty and LaLa said...

You need to find something you enjoy doing. If the Gym makes you sore and you don't like it. Then you won't want to do it anymore. Hiking, swimming, tennis, even a pogo stick for five hours would be more enjoyable than an hour at the gym for me. So why would I sign up for something I don't like...easier to quit. FIND SOMETHING ELSE!

Heather said...

Oh I'm totally with you. I really want to change my ways, but even when I do I see very few results. My babies are 13 months old and I'm still packing an awful lot of "baby weight."

Stephanie Saunders said...

Uh, yeah, no motivating comments here. My whole philosophy is that I refuse to diet- I'd exercise 'til I die before I diet. It's harder for me to diet than exercise. However, lately I really don't care. Mostly 'cause: why I am gonna worry about keeping myself in shape when I'm just gonna get real fat in a couple of months anyway? Good game plan, Steph.

Kath said...

I have some motivation for you.... let's keep getting fatter and then go on biggest loser together :)