I Want To Be A Quitter

That sounds bad I know. But this whole trying to get in shape and lose weight thing is not for me.

Dave and I joined LA Fitness in January with the hopes of enjoying working out dates and both getting slimmer and trimmer. We signed Kate and Sara up for the kids club program, which they love. I hired a personal trainer. And off we were to grand goals and hopes or smaller clothes.

I wanted to give it a fair shot, though I must admit to a fair degree of pessimism on my part. So I stopped eating a bag of M&M's every time I went to the store. Tried really hard to cut out other snacks and fight the constant craving for more sweets. I went to the gym for an hour three days a week and was sore every minute of every day for a month.

So what did I get in return? Nada, nothing, zilch, niente (I wish I knew more languages to add more emphasis to the lack there of, of progress)! OK, I gained a pound of muscle, gained a 1/4 of an inch in my calves(what girl wants that..right!), and lost ONE pound!!!!!!! Now you tell me...does that seem like it's worth all the trouble?????? Is being a size 12 all that bad. Especially since becoming a size 8 now seems entirely unattainable! AHHHHH!!!! Girls can you feel my pain. I gave up all the foods I love, even ate salads for lunch and did things I loath, namely exercising, all for one stinking, measly, worthless pound.

So I haven't wanted to go back. It's been a month since that evaluation and I have been back maybe two or three times. (mostly for the childcare, I can suffer through an hour of exercise when the kids are driving me bonkers) Granted I was really sick for a week, and then the girls were sick. So that two weeks I felt exempt. But I just don't have the gumption to try anymore. Dave says it takes more then a month and that it builds on itself kind of exponentially. But in my opinion I have now found the one crucial flaw in God's plan (no-disrespect). It shouldn't be so impossibly hard. After all I'm trying to repent of my glutenous ways right. Repentance isn't supposed to be so entirely, utterly, seemingly impossible. It should be easier. At this point I think it would be easier to repent of gross crimes against humanity than try to repent for being a lazy food connoisseur!

My only really good piece of incentive small as it is was when Katie asked me today why I wasn't eating M&M's anymore. Sweet girl...I think she is the only one who can tell. I sure don't see a difference, and my body sure isn't showing any signs of rewarding me for my efforts!

Gone In Three Seconds

That was the title for Chase and Emily's science project. (aren't I clever to have them do it together...one project is totally easier than two!)The kids had watched a Myth Buster episode a few months back that sparked their inner scientist. The guys were testing an age old myth that goldfish only have a memory of three seconds. They tested the myth by making a maze and training their fish to swim through it. That wasn't too practical for them, so they had to come up with there own way. Here's what they did:

Pretty clever I think. We now know that Blue Wave, our beta fish, has a memory of at least a week. He responded the the kids conditioning after a week without the trigger right away. So in the words of my kids, "Get your fish a bigger tank!"

I Spy

Katie's cousin Carina loves doing I Spy games in her dollhouse. She posted this picture on her family blog a few days ago with things for us to find. We have all had lots of fun playing her game. She inspired us to make one of our own.

Here is Carina's Game

Find the following : race car, puppy, shower brush, one die(not two or it would be dice), ribbon spool, tiny magazine, fish tank, bear rattle, peeking horse, cup with an umbrella, horse's tail, and a baby.

Our Game (our dollhouse doesn't lend itself to the game as well)

Find the following: a giraffe, gem, frog, pink bead, cake, ice cream cone, pasta, pony, purple heart, kitty, bunny, pink teddy bear, shovel and pail, unicorn, a giant pepperoni, a pair of slippers, brush, toy car, bone, squirrel, and a purple crayon!

A New Love

Every child has a love affair with peanut butter at some point in there lives right? Sara's began today. She and Dad had an afternoon snack together. I came home from preschool to see my sweet little toddler dipping graham crackers, and her arms up to her elbows, into JIFF (it is the best) peanut better. She sure did indulge herself. A minute or two later I looked over at her and she had a stack of five crackers that she was trying to squeeze into her mouth from all different angles. Needless to say a bath soon followed...

Inspired By Lisa Again!

What I am doing: catch-up on blog
What I’m proud of today: dave for trying
What I’m thinking about: creating clever answers
Who is home: me, kate and sara
Plans tonight: dinner with judy
My weekend was: relaxing thank goodness
What’s for dinner: judy's taco salad
Feelings about love: can't get enough
Feelings about life: sometimes real hard
What I need: chocolate, love, sleep
What I want: stuff, sleep, peace
What I have: stuff, stress, kids
My pet peeve: pillows on floor
My guilty pleasure: shopping on line
What you don’t know about me: struggling with faith
What I can hear: kids coming home
What I can smell: my stinky cat
My style: I need one
My hairdo: same since birth
My outfit: jeans, t-shirt, pj's
My mood: up, down, all-around
The weather today: chilly, blue skies
Thoughts on parenting: worth it all
Thoughts on marriage: best thing ever
Thoughts on politics: just real scared
Thoughts on celebrity gossip: I don't care
Thoughts on beauty: wish I was
Thoughts on sleep: always love to
Thoughts on writing: love to blog
My favorite appliance: does computer count
My favorite car: my honda odyssy
My favorite splurge: clothes, chocolate, camera
My favorite beauty secret: wish I knew
My favorite treat: brownies from Downey
My favorite everyday pleasure: surfing the net
Ten years ago: surviving arizona heat
Five years ago: new to military
One year ago: cuddling baby sara
One year from now: own dental practice
Five years from now: last kid, school
Ten years from now: out of debt
I’m famous for: planning, persistence, creativity
I’ll never be famous for: neatness, orderliness, scheduled
Who I am: sarcastic, honest, real
Who I hope to be: better all around
What I’m thankful for: family, nature, friends

Jumping Off The High Dive

OK so I didn't really jump off the high dive anywhere, literally. But I feel like it. For the past few weeks I have felt like I am standing on the edge of comfortable footing looking down into the great unknown and big wide world of photography trying to talk myself into making the jump. Every time I thought about having to redo the way I manage my files on the computer I swear I turned right around and took several steps back. But then the beautiful blue waters of what could be so enjoyable and totally awesome always tempt me back.

* The big decisions included deciding to upgrade my photo editing software and change the way I manage files and my work flow.

* Trying to come to terms with the balance between extra work and value if I decided to start shooting in RAW.

* Is it a good time to upgrade my camera body or just continue with upgrading lenses?

Those were the biggest things to think about anyway. My friend Troy Baker has been telling me about Lightroom, the program he uses to manage his work flow, for a while now. I didn't believe that it could be so different and totally awesome until I saw him use it a bit. I was totally in love after that. Can you be in love at first sight with a computer program. So we now are proud owners of fancy editing software. Lightroom for management and C4 in case we ever are insane enough to try to use it. It has been a hard change for me. With changing my software came the almost natural progressing decision to shoot in RAW.

Some sample pictures of photos taken in RAW and edited in Lightroom

Boy has that been a massive pain in the butt! I am still suffering growing pains. But just being able to get perfect white balance alone is enough of a carrot to keep me plugging along! I also love being able to use the great presets I have downloaded to my Lightroom program. I still don't know what I am doing. A few classes would be so totally awesome.

The camera upgrade is totally the result of my ever persistently biting shopping bug. I have been so good lately. After periods of trying really hard, I always get an itch to binge a little. So it didn't take more than a little advice from Troy (and a happy tax return) to send me to the Internet spending long hours trying to find the best deal on a new camera. I justify my probably not so necessary purchase by saying, "I am going to have the best vacation pictures ever! And video of our cruise this April!!!!" So in the next few weeks I am expecting a few packages on my door step.


-my new Canon 5D mark II
-the new wide angle EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II USM lens that will come with said camera
-a new 8GB memory stick
-Adobe photoshop C4
-an of course new field guides and DVD tutorials


I am so excited. So I jumped...a huge swan dive right out into the middle of the pool...no regrets...no looking back...just thoughts of one day maybe being as good as all of my friends! Here's to hoping!!!!

Future Dentist

February was dental awareness month. So we focused on it a bit at preschool. Kate got to go on a field trip to a pediatric dental office (talk about great free publicity). Then she got to have her Daddy come to school to teach her and all of her friends how to take care of their teeth. Dave and I did a little puppet show about losing teeth and the tooth fairy. Then he taught the kids how to brush and floss. All the kids swished with Inspector Hector (plaque detector) and then looked in the mirror to see where they missed cleaning. It was good fun. Ms. Laurel had a great pretend play station set up where the kids, especially Kate, loved playing "dentist" all morning long!

A Shower For Rachel

My good friend Rachel just had her baby boy. He is so cute. It makes me wonder how women ever stop from having babies. I held him and immediately thoughts of another went through my head. Too bad I am struggling with the four I have. I might be persuaded to give it another go. (that is only if a surrogate mother were involved). He fits in your arms just right. And he is still in that gumby stage were babies mold themselves right to your body. I held him for maybe 30 minutes and he totally gave me those tremors of awe, peace, and reverence that only babies can give.

Rewind....

Three weeks ago almost, I had a shower for Rachel and mystery baby boy (since named Benjamin or Gingermen if you ask Kate). I wanted it to be super special to compensate for not throwing one for her when she had Ashley (she didn't want to do it before the baby, because they didn't know the gender and I went out of town shortly after she was born and then Rachel left town...it just never happened). I found some great ideas on Marthastewart.com. I had so much fun making the cake, and block framed mirror. The mobile was not so much fun. Anyway, here are some pics from the evening. I love when friends have babies. What better excuse could there be to have a celebration!

Happily Ever After

This is the picture of "Happiness", don't you think? The girls have been looking forward to this years Daddy Daughter Dance ever since they got home from last years dance! They look so beautiful and SOOO in love with their Daddy. And what little girl wouldn't be in love with a Dad that dressed up as Prince Charming just to make the night perfect for his girls. What a fine catch he is! This years event was just as fantastic as I expected it would be. Man I love Dupont!
Here is my attempt at a pretty "princess" hair do. I was pretty happy with the results!
Getting corsages from Dad. The perfect touch!

Cutting the rug...
Some of the super fancy treats and decor...

And a Happily Ever After

Emily's Perspective:

I thought the dance was really fun. Snow White was even there! It was also really cool because at the end people got to take home the decorations that were on the tables. I loved the desserts. They had marshmallow shiskabobs that were soooo yummy. Some of my friends were there and we played and danced together. Dad and I made up this really cool dance. It goes like this: You all hold hands like you are about to play ring-a-round the rosie and then you start to twist around and get all tangled up. Then you turn inside out and nobody is supposed to let go. Once you turn inside out you have to get untangled. I also liked that Dad would put his legs apart, swing me under his legs and then throw me up in the air!

Kate's Perspective:

I liked the flowers that Dad gave me. They were so smelly and pretty. I wore my new "angel" costume from Christmas because it is so long and smooth. It is my prettiest costume. Mom put fairy dust sparkles on us, it made me so happy. I even got to wear Mom's make-up it makes me so pretty. At the dance I loved slipping under Dad's legs and then going whew up in the air. I got to eat cupcakes with flowers on them with my friend Vivian. Then we played with the flowers. Daddy even spinned me around really fast that I flied!!!! I had such a good night! One more thing...I got to drink a smoothie!

Clifford Visits The Wilcox Home

In preschool somebody new gets to take Clifford home every week. This week it was my turn. I was really happy! I was so excited to play with him. He had a special box. Inside the box was a note for from him, his favorite book and a journal for me write about Clifford and our adventures.
When I got we watched cartoons together. He like it a lot. care Bears is his favorite movie. I don't like Care Bears anymore but it was OK that Clifford liked it.
I made a special bed for him. I tucked him in so he could sleep. We played some more when he woke up. I liked teaching him tricks and feeding him treats. His best trick was sitting. He was a good dog.
I wrote in Clifford's journal all by myself. Mom helped me make the words but I did all the letters. It was hard work. I miss him and love him!

Losing Sleep

I think this is the first time in my life that I am having job related stress. OK, so I haven't had a "job" for most of my life...but still. Not being able to sleep is not a usual problem for me. I am actually physically sick (you know, knot in the stomach kind of sick).

I went to a committee meeting last night for our stake cub scout day camp. Everything was great. Really on the ball sounding people with totally cool ideas that I know are going to make this camp really awesome. Then we started talking about money. One ward representative said her parents have spoken up and refuse (get that..refuse...what the heck) to pay anymore than $25 dollars for camp.

We paid $80 for camp last year when we went to the Boy Scout run day camp (that was totally horrible, no organization and lame skills and crafts...only BB shooting and archery saved it). We decided as a stake to do our own thing this year to save bucks and have a cooler operation. But going from $80 to $25 is quite a stretch. Don't people understand that it takes revenue to to create quality sometimes? My recommendation was that we ask for $40. That is 1/2 of the expense from last year. And if the scouts have their fundraiser (which they will all do) then even if they only brought in pennies...the wards could pay half and parents could pay $20. Totally reasonable and affordable for the opportunity to send your boy to a three day camp (we are talking 8:30-4:00!!!!). I came up against a stone wall.

Already some of the great ideas people had put forward will have to be thrown out the window because $25 a boy is not going to provide us a very realistic budget. That comes to $1600 "ish". Maybe that number deceived some of the good folk at the table. I know it won't go far. It's not even $10 a day per kid!!!!

I think I actually need to be set apart this Sunday. I am going to need the Lord to bless me with more patience and long suffering. I have had my blood pressure rise too much in my 1 1/2 short months of trying to do this calling.

UGGGG! Sometimes quality is worth paying for people...and no one is asking anyone to blow your saving...

10 Years Younger

Not that Emily needed to look 10 years younger at all. But what she did need was some style intervention. And most of all to not have her hair in her face all day long. Since she doesn't put her hair up in pony tails anymore a new "do" was a total necessity.

After trying a few normal people kind of hair salons. I took Emily to the "posh" people hair salon. Gene Juarez I just knew would solve all of our problems. Well Gene, whoever he or she is, can't take any of the credit. But my new favorite stylist, Lydia can. I told her Emily's eyes were too pretty to never be seen. All of the longer, model type, bangs that we had tried just made the hair in the face problem worse. So she gave straight across little girl bangs. I told Emily who had a bit of trepidation about "little girl" bangs that they are high fashion these days. All the cool models have them and even some of the most stylish total rad and cool people in our ward do. That was all it took.

She loves them. I found her in the bathroom this morning combing them over and over again. Just before she left for school she ran upstairs one last time to brush her hair. She is so excited to show Dad that she made me swear to keep the hair cut a secret.

Anyway, I think she looks even more beautiful then she already did...if that's possible;-)

True Love A Wilcox Definition

Letting your baby pick all the strawberries out of your special K cereal every morning!

Helping your daughter get through piano practice everyday without an emotional breakdown.

Letting your kids help you cook in the kitchen.

Getting up early every morning to get the kids ready for school and make them a yummy lunch.

Working long hard hours.

Letting your younger siblings play even though you know they are going to mess up what ever you are playing with.

Leaving little notes at the gravesite of our recently deceased hamster.

Occasionaly watching a chick flick or two.

Warming up the other side of the bed.

Reading to your little sister.

Flowers and love notes.

Brownies in the mail.

Staying put in Washington.

Letting your little sister tag along with your friends.

Letting your kids play with playdough, space mud and all the other meesy things they have their hearts set on.

Sending your husband to California every three weeks.

And many, many other things...

Baby Love

(One of my favorite photographers took these of Sara. You can see more on her website at http://sarawilhelmphotography.blogspot.com/)

Sara is in love with her baby doll. My other girls have never really been baby doll kids. Sara is one hundred percent little mommy. She has been loving on her baby (really it is Kate's...remember Strawberry and Ball) since she was about 6 months old. It makes me smile every time I see her toting "baby" around. I am totally looking forward to the day when Sara gives her a name. Won't that be so fun. I think seeing her play with "Baby" is like a window into her developing personality. She is so gentle and sweet. She doesn't just love her baby dolls either. If there is a real baby in the room you can bet she will be over to that car seat in a flash. She will rock the seat, stroke their hair and if a bottle is near by she will feed the baby too.

I smile a million times a day just watching my little mommy...

I love her happy squeal whenever she finds her baby and the tight squeeze she gives her when they are reunited.

I love that she makes little clucking sounds when she feeds her a bottle.

I love that she gives her great big opened mouth kisses all over her bald little head.

I love it when I go to get her out of the car seat and she has shared her lollipop with baby, and baby's whole head is covered in red sticky goo.

I love that when I put her to bed at night she curls over onto her side and draws baby in close right under her chin.

I love that she sucks on baby's hand.

I love that when I get her out of bed she reaches back for baby because she must come too.

I love that when she is sad baby can cheer her up.

I love watching her walk down the halls holding baby by the hand dragging her along behind.

I love seeing her rock her in the cradle and try to sing her a song.

Cleaning and cooking can wait 'till tomorrow
For babies grow up, as we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

Primary Lesson According To Kate

"Mom I am so happy," exclaims Kate on our way home from grocery shopping today! I ask her why. She says while holding her scriptures up which are still in the car from church on Sunday, "because I figured out how to get the golden plates!" I ask her how she intends to do so. "I will just read my scriptures because that's what that guy (Joseph Smith) did. He read his scriptures and then he got the golden plates." He processed version of how Joseph reading from the New Testament was inspired to pray about which church is true which did eventually lead to his getting the Golden Plates. I didn't pop her bubble. In away when she is reading her scriptures she does have the golden plates right:-)